Sorrows of the Heart
by Reusch17
Summary: Just an angsty fic.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- Don't own anything. Told from Haruka's POV.**

The rain poured down my face, and down my neck only stopping it's descent due to the collar of my shirt that is now drenched. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, on this bench, but it feels like an eternity. I stare out over the ocean as it continues its battle with the sky. Waves reaching out to strike, but failing and once again crashing back to the depths from whence they came. Lighting flashes illuminating the darkness for mere seconds before I am once again covered in despair. I sigh and look down to my hands which are strangling a bouquet of roses. I open my hands, letting the roses fall to the sodden earth, and look at the wounds that have been created by the thorns. Red mixes with the rain and creates a crimson stream that trickles down between my fingers settling in droplets on the roses. When did I become like this? So depressed and cold. I don't really know, but I do know the catalyst that brought me here and I grimace as I think back to it.

**Flashback**

"Damn bowtie." I muttered as I fought fruitlessly with the black cloth around my neck. "Whoever thought of this infernal thing should be shot."

"Now, now... It won't do you any good to fight with it. You'll only make it worse." Said a sweet and melodic voice from behind me. A voice that could only belong to my roommate and best friend Kaiou Michiru.

Michiru and I have known each other for a few years now and for the last two of them we've been roommates. And for every minute that I have known her… I have been in love with her. I know that she could never feel the same way about me that I do about her. Hell she doesn't even likes girls. I live everyday in a one sided love that tears me apart more and more as time passes. But I will settle for just being he friend. If this is as close as I can be to her… then so be it. A world without Michiru wouldn't be worth living and I won't jeopardize what we have just because I have feelings for someone I shouldn't.

"Here let me help you." She says as she stands behind me and places her arms around me to fix my bowtie. I feel my face flush at our close contact and curse at myself for not being able to control myself. "There. You look very handsome." She smiles at me in the mirror and I offer back a small smile of my own.

"Arigatou." I say as we both walk out of my room.

"Anything for you Haruka." I stop in my tracks as I hear that. It twists the knife a little more each time she flirts with me. I can't lie. I do so love it, but in a masochistic way I suppose. However nothing will stop me from flirting right back.

"Well anytime you need anything don't hesitate to ask… And I mean anything." I say in my most charming voice. She turns to look at me and I see the slightest hint of a blush on her face. Although what throws me is what she's wearing. I never noticed until she turned around to face me. Her long aqua hair cascaded down her neck stopping on her elegant shoulders where an elegant black dress hung from one side. It clung to her body perfectly accentuating her curves and fell to the floor. Slits up both sides allowed a wonderful view of her creamy legs. I was left speechless stunned. I was brought out of my reverie by her voice calling my name.

"Haruka?" I looked up to her and once again felt my face going red. I had been caught staring. I had to do something to cover up so I once again put on my most charming smile and lowered my voice to a husky rumble.

"Gomen… I was just captivated by your beauty." She blushed at my comment which made me smile more. Well at least I can play that off as just fooling around as usual. I change the subject so that we can get away from the awkwardness that was still lingering in the air. "Well we should get going or you'll be late."

"Hai." I open the door to our apartment and bow, gesturing with my hand for her to proceed. She giggles at this and I smile. Just like I do every time she laughs. It really is the most beautiful sound that I've ever heard and I would be very sorrowful if I were to be denied the pleasure of hearing her laugh. She walks through the door and thanks me and then we're off to the concert hall.

When we arrive she grabs her violin and walks away from me to the back stage entrance. I watch as her hips sway seductively as she walks to the door. Once she's through I turn back to my car and reach in to grab the roses that I had picked up earlier that day. Every concert I give Michiru a bouquet of roses and while it's no longer a surprise she seems to be equally as happy to receive them. I enter the concert hall from the front and proceed to take my seat.

As the last note leaves her bow the audience jumps up and erupts in applause. I follow and smile as she looks at me. She bows and then leaves the stage to go to her dressing room. I stoop down and pick up the roses and try to weave my way through the crowd to meet Michiru in her dressing room. Eventually I make my way to the hallway that would lead to the dressing room and stop in front of a mirror that was hung on the wall to check my appearance. My sandy blonde hair was as unruly as it normally was, but over all I thought I looked pretty good in my tuck. Smiling I walked up to her door and knocked lightly on it. I received no response so I knocked again a little harder and the door opened a little and what I saw stopped my heart. Michiru's back was to me and wrapped around her were arms that belonged to her manager Seiya who was kissing her. He was kissing my Michiru. No… she's not mine. She never would be. I stood there for what seemed like hours, but am sure was only a few seconds before Seiya looked up at me and I bolted from there. I ran as fast as I possibly could… and that's pretty fast. Eventually I ended up in the place that Michiru and I spent most of our free time together. It was a bench on a cliff that overlooked the ocean. We always loved to sit here and see where the ocean meets the sky. I felt all the energy drain from me and I fell onto the bench. The heavens seem to mirror what I was feeling and opened up to let a downpour claim the earth in its sorrow.

**End Flashback**

I stood up from my position and the water cascaded off of me. I started walking again. To where? I don't know. I only hope that the destination is better then the point of origin. Although I don't have high hopes for that. Nothing ever seems to go right for me. As soon as things start to look up something happens and murders any hopes of happiness that I may have possessed. I jump when I feel a vibration from my pocket. I pull my cell phone out and push my soaking bangs out of the way so I can see the caller id. Michiru. I stare at the name for awhile and then silence it and move to replace it in my pocket when a voice interrupts me.

"Hey pal. That's a nice phone. I think that you should give it to us." Said a guy who was decked out in leather and chains and had the stereotypical punk air about him. I looked behind me to see who the 'us' was. I saw two guys similarly clad. One of them had a baseball bat that he was resting on his shoulder. I looked back to the 'leader' of the gang and then back to the cell phone which was still in my hand. I threw it at his feet.

"Fine. I don't need it anymore." He looked down at the cell phone and then back to me.

"Well if you don't need you phone anymore then I guess you won't need your wallet anymore. Hand it over." I looked at him and made no signs of moving to hand him my wallet. I don't know why I didn't. They would probably just leave if I did, but I still make no effort to hand it over to them. I just stand there and look at the leader. I see him nod and the next moment I'm screaming out in agony as the baseball bat collides with the back of my knee. I fall onto it and feel an arm wrap around my neck effectively constricting my windpipe. I instinctively reach up to grab the offenders arms, but that's all. I make no effort at all to try and pry the arm from around my neck. I see the leader kneel down in front of me.

"It's not wise to object to our demands… it will only end badly for you. So I'm gonna ask one last time. Give me your wallet." I once again merely stare at him with my teal eyes. The next moment the arm around my neck is gone and a fist collides with my face. I fall to the side and feel the warmth of my blood flowing from my nose. It's much warmer then the rain. The next few minutes are a blur of excruciating pain as kicks and punches connected with my body along with the occasional swing from the baseball bat. Eventually they stop and I feel hands on my body searching for my wallet, which is found and extracted. "Next time… I would listen." And with that they leave me lying in a pool of rain and my own blood. With the last of my consciousness I wonder why I did nothing to stop them. I'm certain I could of. I'm strong and a fairly good fighter. It probably wouldn't have been that hard. But I didn't. I didn't even make an effort. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe I just wanted a reason for the pain I felt in my heart. Now my whole body is in pain and at the very least it feels deserved in a weird way. I stare up into the rain and feel the last of my strength give up on my and everything goes black. My vision… my world… my heart.

**AN-Don't know if I want to leave it like this or continue. A little more dark then my normal fics, but sometimes you just need to express.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- Well not many reviews but gottoluvanime once again has insisted that I continue my fic so here goes. I hope you all enjoy it.**

Pain. That's all I can feel. Excruciating, mind numbing pain. I slowly open my eyes and I'm still lying on my back staring up into the black night sky, trying not to blink in the rain that is still pouring. I try to sit up, but fall back to the pavement out of breath from the effort. I groan as I try again and manage to make it to my feet and end up leaning heavily on the wall of the alley I'm in. God… I've never been in so much pain. Well at least I'm still alive right? I don't even know is it is a good thing. A part of me is glad, but a part of me is disappointed that my misery didn't just end there. Slowly I start to limp down the street in the direction of my apartment. It's the last place I want to be, but it's better then a hospital. I can only hope that when I get there Michiru will already be asleep. Or maybe not even there. Maybe she's out with that bastard Seiya. I growl under my breath and I don't know if it's from the pain or from that thought. Never the less I drag myself onward thankful that tonight the streets seem to be empty. I don't want anyone's help or pity… I just want tonight to be over. 30 minutes later I approach my apartment building. I manage to make it up the stairs, though with difficulty, and make my way into the elevator. Once inside I can finally see myself in the reflection of the doors. I truly am a horrific sight. A black eye… many cuts and bruises… covered in blood and dirt… soaking and looking absolutely deathly pale. The sad part is I feel even worse then I look. I'm so engrossed in my thoughts I almost don't hear the bell as I reach my floor. The door starts to close and I stick my arm out to prevent it from doing so and have to bite my lip to keep from screaming in pain from the slight pressure. I make it to the door and fish inside my pocket for my keys. They're not that hard to find seeing as I don't have a phone or wallet in the way anymore. The only problem I do have is distinguishing which key is the one to my place. My vision is still a little hazy. I think I have the right key and I try to place it in the lock but I'm having trouble because my hand won't stop shaking. I end up leaning against the door in frustration and anger as I continue to fumble with the keys when the door opens and I fall inside almost hitting the ground if it weren't for the person who opened the door… Michiru.

"Haruka?" She says my name with such concern as she supports my weight and drags me inside the apartment. Too bad it's all false. "My God Haruka what happened to you?" She asks as she lowers me onto the couch. I hiss as she lifts my legs onto the couch so that I'm lying down. "Sorry." She whispers. Again I hear the concern in her voice and it tears me up inside. She looks at me with those Aqua orbs and brushes the hair from my eyes. I stare back at her and an awkward silence fills the room. Eventually she gets up and leaves the room. She returns a few minutes later with a bowl. She sets it on the table and kneels next to me. She takes a cloth from the bowl of what I now see is water and starts to clean my wounds. I tense and hiss as she touches a cut above my eye. "Sorry. Haruka what happened to you. You never came to meet me after the concert."

"I did." I reply in a bitter voice. She stops her motion when she hears this.

"Then what happened because I never saw you?"

"I didn't want to interrupt." She stared at me and seemed to be confused.

"Interrupt what?" I stared at her angry at her feigned innocence. I almost just want to walk away to avoid this conversation… but in my current state that would be impossible.

"You and Seiya. I went to your dressing room and I saw you two… kissing."

"Ruka it's not…"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it." I say as I try to lift myself from the couch, but Michiru places her hand upon my shoulder and pushes me down. I grimace as pain radiates from the touch.

"I'm sorry about that… but you will listen to me. I don't think you're in any condition to argue or fight so just sit there and listen." She says in a voice that I have never heard from her. It's sad and has a hint of desperation in it. Why I wonder? "After I got to my dressing room Seiya came in to congratulate me on my performance… or so I thought. I had my back turned to him and he came up behind me and put his arms around me. I tried to get out, but he kissed me. I was in shock and I almost didn't do anything, but then something distracted him and I managed to take advantage of that and pushed him away. I called out to security and they came in and escorted him away. Needless to say he is no longer my manager. After that I was quite rattled and didn't know what to do. I waited for you… but you never came. I called your cell and you didn't answer so I came home and I've been waiting for you." She stopped talking and when I looked up at her I saw tears glistening in the corner of her eyes. I made the effort to sit up and pulled Michiru onto the couch next to me hugging her tightly, ignoring the pain it caused.

"I'm sorry." I said as I stroked her hair. "I thought… I thought that you liked Seiya and I…. I was…" I couldn't finish the sentence. How could I possibly tell her how I feel? She's clearly been through enough. I shouldn't add to her troubles. She looks up into my eyes.

"You were what?" I look away from her… ashamed of my feelings. She gently places a hand on my cheek and turns my face so I am once again looking at her.

"I was… jealous." She stares at me and I wonder if this is the end of our friendship. I sigh and decide that I can't make it any worse so I might as well just give her the whole truth. "I was jealous because I wanted to be the one kissing you. I wanted to be the one with my arms wrapped around your body… pulling you close enough for me to hear your heart beat. I love you Michiru… and I have since the moment I met you." I notice more tears are falling down her face and my heart breaks to know that I'm the one who has caused her this pain. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Now I've ruined what we had. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut? Now I've really lost her. "I'm sorry Michiru… I never meant to ruin our friendship."

"Baka."

"What?"

"You're such an idiot… can't you see that I love you too?" She's looking into my eyes and I can tell she's not lying, but I still can't bring myself to believe it. Before I have a chance to respond again I feel her press her lips to mine. I pull back a little because the cut on my lip stings and she looks at me questioningly. "I'm sorry. I thought…" I cut her off with my lips on hers this time. She accepts my kiss and deepens it. When we finally break apart I smile at her.

"Sorry, but you surprised me and the cut on my lip stings a little." I explain to her. She giggles at my response.

"I'm sorry I surprised you like that."

"You can surprise me like that any time… I won't always be injured."

"How did you end up like this anyways?" She asks as she strokes my face with the back of her hand. I tell her what happened and she looks at me with tears in her eyes again. When I finish my recount she smiles at me which I think is odd. I just told her I got mugged and beat up. Why is she smiling?

"You saved me." She says as she notices my confusion which still isn't quelled by this statement. "If you hadn't shown up at my dressing room when you did I don't know what would have happened. You distracted him giving me my opening." I smile back at her understanding what she meant now. "Come on. Let's get you out of those wet clothes before you get sick." She stands up and offers me her hand. I accept it and with great difficulty manage to stand from the couch. I almost fall as I place weight on my knee, but Michiru holds onto me and helps me to my room. Once there she helps me out of my clothes. I'm frozen, but I can feel my face blushing as she undoes each button of my shirt, helping me out of it. She gasps a little as she sees the bruises that have now formed on my body. Lightly she runs her finger over my ribs where the majority of the kicks were placed and I wince. She immediately withdraws her hands and looks up at me. "Gomen."

"It's alright." We stare at each other until she speaks again.

"You should take a shower. To get all that dried up blood and dirt off."

"I don't think I would be able to stand in the shower let alone clean myself properly."

"I'll help you." She says in a timid voice. I look over at her and see her face is as red as mine. I nod to her and we both make our way to the bathroom. She turns on the water and then turns back to me. She helps me remove the last of my clothing and then in turn takes off hers. I watch her intently as she undresses. When she's done she looks back to me and offers me her hand. I accept it and she helps me into the shower. I bite my lip as the hot water makes contact with my lacerated and bruised skin. "Is it too hot?" I hear her ask from behind me. I shake my head no. Suddenly I feel her hands on my skin as she helps to clean the grim from me. As much as my body hurts… I love the feel of her hands on me. After a good 20 minutes she shuts off the water and helps me out. She then proceeds to towel me off and lead me back into my bedroom. She grabs one of my shirts and throws it on her effectively covering most of her small form as she then continues to search through my drawers for something for me to wear. However before she lets me cover myself she grabs a first aid kit from the bathroom and instruct me to keep still as she dresses my wounds. She then helped me into a pair of boxers and a tank top she had found. I then limp over to my bed and she helps me lie down. Once I'm comfortable, as comfortable as I could be in my condition, Michiru lifts the covers and gets in beside me. She gently lays her head down on my chest and lays her arm across my stomach ever so gently so as not to hurt me. I wrap my arm around her shoulders. We lay there for awhile not saying anything. We just enjoy the presence of each other. Finally Michiru is the one to break the silence.

"Ruka?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Michi."

The End!

**AN-Once again you people who wanted me to continue this story have to thank gottoloveanime. Cause without her constant badgering which I suppose is her form of support… I would never get anything done. So thanks to her and I hope you enjoyed this little fic.**


End file.
